“Compassion: for some teachers, their lives are difficult as is. Mentors need compassion to support teachers and their journeys.” (Jeep, trainee mentor, EAR-Thailand)
This quote is from a trainee mentor, who was asked at the end of an EAR (Exploratory Action Research) project to list the three most important things he would say to a new trainee mentor based on his own experience of mentoring that year. It is this quote that started me thinking about what we mean by compassion in mentoring. In the context of the quote, the need for compassion made sense to me. I had mentored three new trainee mentors on the EAR-Thailand project and throughout the project we had needed to support each other and our school teachers who were doing EAR for the first time through floods, electricity cuts, suicide, police inquiries, illness and hospitalisation, as well as the responsibilities that each teacher had in school and at home. Jeep’s quote highlighted the need in mentoring to understand the broader context and issues the school teachers were dealing with; it seemed reasonable that we needed to be compassionate towards them as human beings first and foremost and, within that holistic view, as teacher-researchers.
But what does it actually mean to be ‘compassionate’ in mentoring and what does compassion look like in practice? If compassion is an important attribute in mentoring, is it something innate (i.e. some people have it and some people don’t) or is it something we can learn and develop? If we are using this word to describe an attribute of good mentoring, do we have a shared understanding of what we mean by compassion? Is compassion always a good thing, or might there be times when (misguided) compassion might actually hinder someone’s progress? And what about empathy? Are compassion and empathy the same thing (i.e. to be used as synonyms) or are they different? These are some of the questions I began to ask myself as I thought about Jeep’s advice to new mentors. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but here are some thoughts that I hope might spark further conversations on this topic.
The first thing I did to try and answer some of these questions was to do a word search of both compassion and empathy in three key books in the mentoring teacher-research community. The results (see table below) surprised me, because, in conversations about mentoring and in our monthly MenTRnet meetings, it seemed to me that empathy particularly is a frequently used word.
| Book | Occurrences of ‘compassion’ (and derivatives) | Occurrences of ’empathy’ (and derivatives) |
| Mentoring teachers to research their classrooms: A practical handbook (Smith, 2020) | 0 | 0 |
| Stories of mentoring teacher-research (Smith, Eraldemir Tuyan, Serra, & Békés, eds., 2024) | 2 | 8 |
| Mentoring teachers: Supporting learning, wellbeing and retention (Malderez, 2024) | 0 | 7 (all ’empathetic listening’) |
Of course, the fact that a word is not used does not imply that the concepts behind the word are missing from the book, but what is notable is that empathy and its derivatives are used 15 times, while compassion and derivatives are only used twice. This might imply that we feel empathy is a more suitable word in mentoring or possibly that we do not distinguish between the two. On closer inspection of the usage in Stories of mentoring teacher-research, compassion is used in the introduction in the context of mentors taking on the role of ‘compassionate facilitators’ (p. 8). The other use of ‘compassion’ is in chapter 9 by Vanita Chopra and Gyanu Dahal (p. 70), who also use the word empathy twice on the same page. Here they seem to be used as synonyms.
When we look at dictionary definitions, a distinction is made between compassion and empathy. The Cambridge online dictionary defines empathy as ‘the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation’, or as we often say ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’. Empathy is an emotional response to what someone else is going through. Compassion (in the Cambridge dictionary) is defined as ‘a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them’. We can see that compassion is also an emotional response, but one that is accompanied by a desire to act. So, compassion is action-oriented, motivating someone to do something to help alleviate the suffering, pain, stress, exhaustion or situation that the other person is experiencing.
Interestingly, psychologists Singer and Klimecki (2014) suggest that empathy is the general ability to relate to others’ experiences, both the positive and the negative; in this sense empathy is a general, overarching term. They then categorise empathetic reactions into two distinct types, one of which is compassion and the other empathetic distress. Compassion is a type of empathetic response that feels for the other person and results in action, while empathic distress feels with the other person, and can potentially lead to withdrawal, distress and burnout (Singer & Klimecki, 2014: 875). They also suggest that empathy and compassion are qualities that can be trained and developed.
If we take this psychological understanding of the two terms, then perhaps in mentoring teacher-research when we speak of empathy (in its general sense) and compassion (as an empathetic response that is action-oriented), we can use them as synonyms. Yet, we also need to be aware of the potential negative impact on our own well-being, and by consequence, that of our mentees. If we become so empathetically engaged with the other person’s situation and emotional state, then we are in danger of becoming empathetically distressed rather than action-oriented and compassionate.
Perhaps this is where we can take note of the recurring term “empathetic listening” in Malderez’s (2024) book on mentoring teachers. Malderez uses this term seven times (see table above), and I see a direct link to active listening, which is considered a fundamental skill when mentoring teacher researchers. Perhaps one way in which we might demonstrate empathy and compassion, then, is through active listening; listening attentively to what our mentees say and asking clarifying and useful questions. Perhaps this is where empathy-based mentoring begins.
A quick search of the terms ‘listening’ and ‘questioning’ (in relation to mentoring) in both Stories of mentoring teacher-research (Smith, Eraldemir Tuyan, Serra, & Békés, 2024) and Mentoring teachers to research their classrooms: A practical handbook (Smith, 2020) suggests that this premise has some warrant. In both books the importance of listening, asking good questions, and learning how to ask good questions are a common theme, with – for example – one whole chapter dedicated to learning how to ask good questions in Stories of mentoring teacher-research (Chapter 3 by Suchita Mahorkar).
The aim of this post has been to stimulate conversation and thinking about the role of compassion and empathy in mentoring, rather than give direct answers. It would be great to hear any thoughts on this from our community.
References
Malderez, A. (2024). Mentoring teachers: Supporting learning, wellbeing and retention. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003429005
Singer, T., & Klimecki. O.M. (2014). Empathy and compassion. Current Biology, 24(18), R875–R878. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2014.06.054
Smith, R. (2020). Mentoring teachers to research their classrooms: A practical handbook. www.britishcouncil.org
Smith, R., Tuyan, S. E., Serra, M., & Békés, E.A. (Eds.) (2024). Stories of mentoring teacher-research. IATEFL. https://mentrnet.net/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Smith-Eraldemir-Tuyan-Serra-Bekes-2024-published-version.pdf
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About the Author(s)
Susan Dawson has been a TESOL educator for over 35 years and is currently based in Ecuador, where she teaches English and works with women and children in disadvantaged communities. She has been part of MenTRnet for over a year and has mentored teacher researchers in Côte d'Ivoire, Thailand and the UK. She is an Honorary Research Fellow at the University of Manchester, UK.
